


Cigarettes after Sex

by ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome



Category: Beat (TV 2018)
Genre: Bisexuality, Crying, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt, M/M, Masturbation, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:14:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25106017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome/pseuds/ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome
Summary: Nobody said or expected it to be easy for Beat.
Relationships: Robert „Beat“ Schlag/Emilia, Robert „Beat“ Schlag/Philipp Vossberg
Kudos: 38





	Cigarettes after Sex

“Why do seek me out, my proximity?”, asked Philipp, his voice hardly able the reach Beat, everything was vivid and unclear. It was a mere whisper.  
“Again and again, you are coming back to me, even though we both know that you don’t trust me.”  
The older man simply stood in front of Robert, appeared calm and collected as always, like you could expect him to be. Perfect to ever fiber of his monstrous being.  
It seemed like he was towering over the young male and Beat was showered with fear that moment. The pain of his wound was now ever so present in his body. Philipp only let, so it seemed to Beat, a somewhat unsatisfying heavy breathe escaping his lips.  
“I never anticipated of wanting to kill you, you know?”

~

With a sudden twitch of his body, which was followed by a terrifying, frustrated scream Robert woke up. In panic he looked to every side, stood up to run through the apartment, just to look if Philipp was actually in here. But nobody was, he was alone.  
Paul and Janik were dead, shoot without mercy.  
He tried to calm himself down, only to notice that his shirt was wet from his own sweat, attaching itself to the man like a second skin. Beat let a hand brush over his face, not wanting to cry. The drugs. No, they weren’t the reason for all of this, he was clean for a week or so. It was his sickening desire for Philipp and inside him, the 28 years old really wanted to have him back. After all, this monster was very well alive.

He went back to bed after he thought through different things he could do now, nothing he would do had a positive outcome. Letting him sink into he soft fabric of his mattress of the bed, he covered himself with the thick blanket again. The unbearable heat didn’t mattered to him and somehow he started to cry. He was beyond reason and frustration now. The thoughts in his head were only centered on Philipp, it was the only thing he cared about. 

Philipp...

His beloved drugs couldn’t distract him from Philipp, and tonight he just couldn’t stop ignoring it. Beat needed Philipp more than ever, despite everything he had done. Sniffing liquid back up his nose from the crying he slowly let his hand wandere down his shorts. 

Actually he didn’t want to do this, too ashamed of the act to touch himself while thinking of Vossberg and his hand was motionless. He could feel the thin pubic hair against the skin of his hand and really considered to take to cocain, but decided against it. For Beat it was frightening to come to the conclusion that Philip was only a part of his imagination whenever he was drugs, in the intoxication of white powder. 

Hesitant he rolled out the man’s name on his tongue, mumbling like an idiot into his pillow and cried harder than even before. Meanwhile he began stroking his half erected cock, felling disgust towards himself more than he ever could imagine.  
He felt nothing but shame for his feelings.  
Why?, he thought to himself. He wanted Philipp, and had to admit, that couldn’t live without him.

Beat wasn’t able to find his parents, despite looking in every corner of the world and as he got the message they were dead too, he broke down completely.  
The only people left were Emilia and Nani. Janin stop the contact once and for all, after her son had passed away. The last person was Philipp. Of course, who else could there be? He was alive, in spite of the lethal shoot, fired by Emilia and getting treatment in the hospital afterwards.

Then nothing, he had vanished just like that, escaped prison effortlessly, under the eyes of the EU Intelligence Analysis Centre. It was a scandal.

He was close now, he swallowed nervous, imagined how Philipp would jerk him off. Sobbing and whimpering he ejaculated into his closed palm, stood up in rush for the bed, only to vomit everything he got out. Abashed he sat at the edge, whipping spit from his chin and reaching out for his mobile phone. Dialing the number, numerous time false at the first tries, till he got it right. Shaking he held the electronic device to his ear.

„Emilia?“


End file.
